When Justice Is Merely a Justification: The Day I Considered Killing a Man

[Trigger warning: violence, sexual assault]

I am not a violent person. I’ve never been in a fight. I’ve never held a gun, and never used any kind of weapon as such. The idea of me being physically violent is laughably ridiculous. I always assumed violence was the result of some deeper instinct I didn’t have- some kind of sadism or hate, or in sympathetic cases, need. I no longer believe violence is this simple, this much of an “us vs. them”, “monsters vs. heroes” divide-because one day I realized that I actually wanted to see a man dead, and probably could have found a way to do it.

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